Ego lives off the self esteem

A parasite, that thing that nags inside the insides of you making you feel good/completely bad, your Ego is a parasite.

It grazes on the marginal increases (or decreases) of your true value. A value that comes from a compliment, an exaggerated self worth hardly concealing some deep rooted personality flaw, or a misery. It doesn't matter so long your whole focus is put on 'I' every time you try to think of something.

A true value is usually less than what you think of your self and more than what others think of you. Vice versa maybe. There is no equation for it. (My usual answer to this to is NO-ONE so that I stop fearing the fears I made in my head.)

Self esteem is like fast food junk. It helps making the ego grow to eventually become a morbid obese. Until, if you are lucky, something (bad) happens and brings it back to its real state. And then we call that (bad) something a good thing, an experience. Or whatever.

So should you abandon your self esteem? Well..

There is self-esteem and self-respect. With a high self esteem you over emphasize those good things that you have or do. With a high self respect you live trying to fix every flaw you have or do. Confidence comes from self respect and not from self esteem.

Notice how every D-listed celebrity is all over the place with their arrogance and annoying pompous behavior? Totally out of mind. This is what sets great minds that lived and have been living among us from D- & B- listed celebs. Humbleness. Self respect.

Sadly, happiness is NOT for free

You give up money to get a decent home. Abandon one long argument to get a peace of mind. Give up sleep, to get income and security.

Buying is a process that is not bound solely to money and trading. It is giving up valuables in order to gain stuff you need.

Happiness is in the mind, it cannot be measured by no logical measure. A continuous state of mind that lasts for much longer let's say, pleasure.

Pleasure is tied to material: purchase-ables, things we buy, touch and eat. Which is why it gives us a sense of instant happiness... Instant... instant does not last long enough.

To buy happiness, you may want to give up cynicism, abandon the bits of stuff you identify with, and probably, your big ego.

Give aways your precious things to those who need them, as the saying:

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” --Churchil

No, happiness doesn't come for free.

(c) Image Courtesy of Barbara Kruger

The conspiracy behind the conspiracy theory

New World Order (NWO), the Illuminati, Freemasonry, communism, socialism and terrorism are labels that are used to define a vague enemy. This enemy has large scale manipulative plots that shall bring the world to its tragic end.

Now, even if there is truth in the theories of conspiracy, why do we spend our precious time on learning & teaching them?

Here is the deal, conspiracy is like office gossip: a very interesting scoop of juicy stories about people (we don't care about) but, we still waste our precious time and attention over.


These things occupy the vacant mind and keep it wandering around with out a purpose (now try saving the world, voltron)


We can not counter these conspiracies because in reality there will always be some one plotting and manipulating for their own gain, with and with out considering the consequences.

(c) Image courtesy of Aaron Jay

Solving problems and resolving conflicts with Conflict Resolution Model

click the image to enlarge

This is a guide for conflict resolving, the first three are irrational, emotion-based responses and the later three are rational. Remember that rational way is not always the best way.

MEDIOCRE, NEXT!

We have always feared mediocrity, belonging to the rest of the masses and everyone we call normal are those we do not know.

The simple mind-ness of the ego made us believe that the rest of people are incapable of being anything remarkable because it is a "thought consuming" process.

Once we upgrade a person from being normal to something more special, having more value, the ego is moved in awe.

The ego will need a lot of effort to get back its status in our imaginary world, i.e. being the special one. That's why it is easier for him/her to disregard most of the people it meets.


Image courtesy: Emmy Cicierega (c)

How much do you trust your desires?

"Fast, and you will be fine" --Mohammad

We have always connected fasting with food. Fasting means stop eating, listening to music and saying bad things to others until the sunset.

Only recently I have got the time to contemplate food, and enjoy it for what it is. When it comes to desireables, the saying above should be put into practice.

When we stop watching something for a while, the time we get back to it, the pleasure of watching it and the anticipation grows a notch. It becomes different, no longer a duty. But an extra pleasure of life.

Consider fasting from the digital world. From your phone, your blackberry.

It's like taking a vacation from work. You love work but a vacation sure makes you more productive at it.

Take a break from coffee.

From your favorite hobby, or your best friend.

Call it abstinence, zen, fasting. It is a way to learn living with the who that is you, to discover the why that makes you what you really are.

When you return back to your normal life, it will feel pleasureable. It will have a meaning.

Have a pleasant night!

Jason Santa Maria (C)

Measurable Emotions

Like we've been taught in schools and universities, in order to make a sensible good argument, we should suppress, spot then ignore emotions because they cannot be measured or calculated.

Emotions are elusive, in a scientifically dominant world, only material and calculate-able things count.

Almost everyone have watched Wael Ghonim come-back interview, a UAE-based google employee who disappeared for 12 days because of participating in the protests in Egypt.

After the video went viral, a Facebook page that was created to support him went from 1 fan to 50,000 in 30 minutes, reached 100,000 fans in less than 12 hours.

Ghonim's emotional words has changed many people's opinions. People were moved by his honest words in the interview. Now, in Egypt, people who were never interested in the fight are marching now towards Liberation Square, in thousands.

Photo (c) Bahgat Osman

5 ways to know how much you hate yourself

How busy do you need to be to get over yourself?

You can't stand boredom
There's no such thing as me-time in your life. It's all about socializing and being with some body around. Whether it is over the phone or over the internet. This is frustrating because at some point in your life you will realize that all you have is yourself and you should learn living with it.

You keep yourself busy all the time
This is one of the most common ways, you have to keep your mind occupied with whatever, anything.

You keep your mind focused most of the time
You're always keeping your brain working, focusing on something moving, a movie, people or a pet. It occupies your mind. You love it.

You love being surrounded by people
No people is the equivalent of death to you, people are your drug of choice. You have them on your phone, they text you, you talk to them.

You love being distracted
You listen to music, you write, you drink, you eat, you love, you will do anything to be but with yourself.


But it's boring!
It is not bad to be surrounded by people and have them all the time.

The problem is the moment we are out of work, out of people out of ideas. Our problem is boredom, we perceive it as the enemy.

And it is, if we couldn't handle it well, boredom will be the enemy.

To know how to just be with ourselves is an art we have yet to master.

To stop and stare at the beauty that surrounds us, outside our comfort zone, a very trivial act but we are usually afraid of.

Think of it... not!
The solution is not just being, it is that when you think that you are doing nothing you actually over think, over analyze, over process every single word and you listen to these cancerous thoughts.

Next time you're around your beloved ones, feel free to stay silent, and enjoy the act of not just not talking, but also not thinking. Whenever you're there, indulge.

Insomnia by Jana Traboulsy (c) 2010