Ego lives off the self esteem

A parasite, that thing that nags inside the insides of you making you feel good/completely bad, your Ego is a parasite.

It grazes on the marginal increases (or decreases) of your true value. A value that comes from a compliment, an exaggerated self worth hardly concealing some deep rooted personality flaw, or a misery. It doesn't matter so long your whole focus is put on 'I' every time you try to think of something.

A true value is usually less than what you think of your self and more than what others think of you. Vice versa maybe. There is no equation for it. (My usual answer to this to is NO-ONE so that I stop fearing the fears I made in my head.)

Self esteem is like fast food junk. It helps making the ego grow to eventually become a morbid obese. Until, if you are lucky, something (bad) happens and brings it back to its real state. And then we call that (bad) something a good thing, an experience. Or whatever.

So should you abandon your self esteem? Well..

There is self-esteem and self-respect. With a high self esteem you over emphasize those good things that you have or do. With a high self respect you live trying to fix every flaw you have or do. Confidence comes from self respect and not from self esteem.

Notice how every D-listed celebrity is all over the place with their arrogance and annoying pompous behavior? Totally out of mind. This is what sets great minds that lived and have been living among us from D- & B- listed celebs. Humbleness. Self respect.

5 ways to know how much you hate yourself

How busy do you need to be to get over yourself?

You can't stand boredom
There's no such thing as me-time in your life. It's all about socializing and being with some body around. Whether it is over the phone or over the internet. This is frustrating because at some point in your life you will realize that all you have is yourself and you should learn living with it.

You keep yourself busy all the time
This is one of the most common ways, you have to keep your mind occupied with whatever, anything.

You keep your mind focused most of the time
You're always keeping your brain working, focusing on something moving, a movie, people or a pet. It occupies your mind. You love it.

You love being surrounded by people
No people is the equivalent of death to you, people are your drug of choice. You have them on your phone, they text you, you talk to them.

You love being distracted
You listen to music, you write, you drink, you eat, you love, you will do anything to be but with yourself.


But it's boring!
It is not bad to be surrounded by people and have them all the time.

The problem is the moment we are out of work, out of people out of ideas. Our problem is boredom, we perceive it as the enemy.

And it is, if we couldn't handle it well, boredom will be the enemy.

To know how to just be with ourselves is an art we have yet to master.

To stop and stare at the beauty that surrounds us, outside our comfort zone, a very trivial act but we are usually afraid of.

Think of it... not!
The solution is not just being, it is that when you think that you are doing nothing you actually over think, over analyze, over process every single word and you listen to these cancerous thoughts.

Next time you're around your beloved ones, feel free to stay silent, and enjoy the act of not just not talking, but also not thinking. Whenever you're there, indulge.

Insomnia by Jana Traboulsy (c) 2010

How your words travel in time & space

"some... seem to be angry with images for not being things, and with words for not being feelings.

"Words and images are like shells, no less integral parts of nature than are the substances they cover, but better addressed to the eye and more open to observation"

―George Santayana

Sometimes you wonder if the other person ever noticed how genuine (or fake) you were?

As a matter of mere realization, there are two zones of communication with others... the first is where our five senses are. It is where materials, logic & reasoning thrive.

In the other zone, the mind and sixth sense happen to be. It is where a book takes you, dreams are made, and people who pray and meditate abandon the world for. In the other zone belong trance and extacy.

Sensorial, the senses of the first zone, serves as a filtering gateway to the mind. If one had the five senses working well but was not present-minded, the senses are useless.

Unlike the old times, the mind today is almost always fully occupied with the sensorial. We often miss out a lot of the second zone's pleasures and peacefulness. Now if the mind is busy processing matters of the sensorial, mind becomes of no use.

In our communications with each other we often feel other's emotions trembling space. Even through the stale paper of a book written centuries ago, emotions can be felt.

When things are done emotionally, they get through better than having them done senselessly or even thoughtfully...

If a mind is involved, it is not just communication, it is actual acting and changing. An unseen, concealed kind of acting and changing.

The who that is you

 (c) Barbara Kruger - Untitled

Labels and tags have been placed on us many years now. Unintentionally, we embrace these labels, own them and prove them right.

We hear comments and compliments all the time. "You're stubborn!", so one acts stubborn in response because when it comes to who we are, we're ignorant .

Inside the materialistic exterior that we have formed --also known as personality, their lays an ego and a mind.

The ego is the who that we have been building up since learning the word 'I'... Forgetting the mind, the why we live and love.

Uniqueness is very common

Gerbera Gallery ((c) different owners flickr)

We have long devoted serious effort to be different, become unique and like.no.other.

Because the ego loves exaggerating its own worth, it keeps drawing lines, elevates itself (and you in the process) to be above the rest of the world, inflating with emptiness.

Fact is, we were born different. From different parents, in different places, on different dates. We keep forgetting this simple fact.

Nobody is the same... we're all equally alike in terms of uniqueness.

the Bias in Beauty

(c) [I don't know]

The perception of beauty that we follow is terribly distorted... it is tilted towards differentiation, and "what's in".

We are forced to like what we like by major industry players. Movies, TV, music, celebs, film festivals, fashion shows and magazines propagate images that are captioned "beautiful", "hot", and "trendy". An influence that you cannot ignore. 

If you question the beauty concept that we live by... does it represent who we really are or the insecurities corporate have placed in our minds?

Why do you want to lose yourself

Salvator Dali (c)

Every person, at some point in their life, will need to lose their self and if they failed, they lose their minds.

This is how it happens: you lose yourself in a piece of drawing, a poem, music, binging, love, prayer or a book. Name it. I lost myself so many times solving algorithms.

This is why people seek love, they completely lose their sense of self and their mind and feelings stay focused on someone else...

It is how great artists got over their mean self-loathing egos, by focusing their attention, their hands and feelings on the art they make.

When people fail at finding a way to lose their self, they lose their minds, they will need extra help (pills, doctors, electric shocks) to reset their system and bring their ego to ground zero.

the Ego

(c) [I don't know]

I started off complaining about the ego with the assumption that you all know it. Pardon my ignorance.

Scientists explained the self, mind, or conscious differently, the most famous is Sigmund Freud's psyche model. 

Ego desires

Francis Bacon (c)

You might have heard of how bad it is to be categorized... be called a name, whether it was a good name or a bad one... Nobody wants that.

In another dimension, the ego strives to categorize itself and be different from other human beings, making you forget the real 'you'.

Affecting your freedom.
Your nothingness.

De categorize the self

Most people, family, friends, experts, scientists and HR people will unintentionally try to categorize you using simple labels and put you in a box within certain dimensions.

They might put you with creative masses, the stupid crowd, or the successful.

Be concerned for once they have done that, they will move on.

They want to learn about the next person they encounter, forgetting the massive potential a person like you have.


Your ego does that too.